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Products to help treat blemishes in teens and adult acne

Pimples and acne are no fun no matter how old you are.

Adult acne is relatively common in women mainly due to hormonal changes, not to mention stress. In fact, over 780,000 MailOnline readers suffer from acne – so you’re not alone.

But luckily, whether you have blemishes or are suffering from an adult acne attack, now there are dozens of innovative treatments that will help you reduce your rashes.

Going forward, we’ve picked eight of the best acne treatments to help brighten your skin and prevent breakouts.

Formulated with a potent blend of pore-unclogging salicylic acid, moisturizing butylene glycol and soothing green tea extract, Paula’s Choice Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid Exfoliator is a must-have for skin prone to breakouts and breakouts. acne.

Suitable for all skin types, the leave-in exfoliator not only deep cleanses the pores to help remove acne, it also helps fade persistent acne scars while promoting a brighter texture, smoother and more even for a more clarified complexion. Sign us up.

Buy now on Amazon

These Instagram-friendly button patches from Starface are awesome, colorful, fun, and most importantly, effective. The star-shaped hydrocolloid patches absorb wound fluid (think oil and pus) and speed healing, much like a traditional blister bandage.

Best of all, these cute and soft pimple patches keep you from touching your face and making rashes worse. You’ll never look at a button the same way again!

Each Hydro-Star Pod Starter Kit includes 32 stickers (eight sheets each containing four stickers).

Buy now on Starface

Formulated with 60% soothing hemp seeds (cannabis sativa seeds) and antiseptic green oregano, this lightweight Kiehl’s oil is designed to calm stressed skin.

Kiehl’s Cannabis Sativa Seed Oil Concentrate will reduce skin spots, calm redness, and balance hydration, all without making a fussy complexion worse. Just two to three drops massaged into freshly cleansed skin will instantly soothe.

Buy now on Space NK

Fear not, this moisturizer from award-winning skin care brand Murad is oil-free and will keep skin matte despite its SPF45.

This silky hydrating moisturizer has been formulated with avocado bark extract and enantia chlorantha (a sebum-regulating agent), to help balance congested complexions and protect against harmful rays, all without clogging the skin.

Buy now on Lookfantastic

Formulated for use on sensitive acne prone skin, Cetaphil Oily Skin Cleanser is highly affordable and dermally approved. This ultra-gentle cleanser will preserve and maintain the delicate skin surface and remove excess sebum, dirt and other environmental impurities from the skin surface.

The classic cleanser is also fragrance-free so it won’t cause any rashes or reactions and can also be used on your body to help fight bacteria (i.e. back acne). And that 236ml bottle will last at least a few months.

Buy now on Amazon

Glamglow’s Supermud Mask has gained a cult following and is also one of the brand’s bestsellers, known for its ability to cleanse pores and treat breakouts.

The mask combines kaolin to absorb dirt and oil from the skin while calming inflammation. It also contains a blend of powerful exfoliating acids such as mandelic, lactic, salicylic and glycolic acid, to effectively resurface, smooth and illuminate the skin to restore its former glow.

Buy now on Lookfantastic

This on-site treatment from Kate Somerville is our benchmark for banishing hard-to-beat whiteheads. It contains 10% sulfur (beware: it smells like rotten eggs) and exfoliating acids to fight blemishes, while zinc oxide absorbs excess sebum. This treatment is the perfect solution to get rid of pimples and rashes.

Apply a dab of the rose solution overnight to the affected area with the tip of a cotton swab and in the morning the redness and size of your blemish will be reduced.

Buy Now on Cult Beauty

Vegan-friendly and cruelty-free, Medik8 Blemish Control Pads will help keep blackheads and whiteheads at bay.

Formulated with 2% salicylic acid (less alcohol drying out the skin) and soothing botanical extracts, these tampons from Medik8 leave skin clean, clear and never uncomfortable.

They are compact, easy to use on the go, and soft enough for everyday use. Say goodbye to red, sore, angry blemishes.

Buy now on Skin City

MailOnline can earn a sales commission from the links on this page.

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Can you become an adult without being a pseudo?

Recently my friend A walked out of a cafe in Bangalore half stunned and half laughing. The views he had seen! First, an embarrassed waiter delivered coffee to a young woman sitting alone, explaining that the young man sitting next to it had paid for it. “He was behaving like he was a guy in a bar in a movie,” A exclaimed. The woman considered the offer and then smiled at the rosy, daring man. He joined her at the table. In the first of a series of “is this an advertisement for something,” they found a board game from the cafe’s collection and played for a while. Then she left. The man has moved into what’s called the bar, a counter where you pretend it’s your “local” (or worse, your dive) and where you pretend you can work on your laptop while while sitting next to a Mac with strangers. He then struck up a conversation with his neighbor, a girl with a Mac and a notebook. He started by discussing his pen (flashback to the shock I experienced on my first day in Delhi when I was 18 when I heard Girl 1 tell Girl 2 at the bus stop, “Mera pen pakadna, main nahin hoon toh Rajeevko de dena (Hold my pen, give it to Rajeev if I’m not there)“I am still haunted by this pen and the relationship I imagine between the girl and Rajeev.

But back to the young man. The bar girl took out her Moleskine notebook. And he took out his Moleskine notebook. Then they discussed their Moleskines. Then they left together. At this point, A felt like he needed a stretcher, shocked as he was by the avalanche of hipster clichés.

A recognizes that this avalanche could only hit him in an independent cafe, independent being the code of international homogeneity of decor with sans-serif logos and industrial-style interiors and individual cafes. In the now ubiquitous Café Coffee Day (CCD) or Barista or even Costa, less common, Mr. Audacity wouldn’t hang around making cinematic openings, and neither would Ms. Moleskine. These cafes are now desi, a bit like a family friend in front of whom you wouldn’t spread your new and inexplicable Mid-Atlantic accent. But as the friend of the family whose racy history you know nothing about, CCD and the other retail coffee chains played a similar role in remodeling another generation. In the late 1990s, I went with my friend and my brother to what was to be the first of hundreds of CCDs. Right on Brigade Road in Bengaluru it was intimidating, with cool new customers we could see from the street through the then unknown glass facade.

This first CCD was an internet café, with computers lined up around the establishment and restaurant-style tables in the middle. When we walked in, no one was sitting at a computer and all kinds of forward thinking people were drinking coffee, five times the price of the drink in an average cafe. My friend looked around and expressed her unease by saying to my brother, “I bet you will marry someone who looks like THAT” that is, this is a girl with blue locks in her hair and wearing low waist jeans. cold coffee. A few years later my friend met a candidate for an arranged marriage in a CCD or a barista and was dismayed that the man had not offered to split the bill at all. By then, computers were long gone from CCDs and we had forgotten by the time we didn’t know what hit meant.

When I lived in South Delhi, I did not join in the mockery of women who wore boots in winter. I knew, and women who wore boots knew it, that tweeting “Boots Season!” would make sense if there was snow to walk through. But the boots were not about the state of the roads. It was a seasonal and fun ritual to participate in. It wasn’t much different from the Bali Yatra festival in Odisha, when paper boats are floated in commemoration of the sea power of ancient Kalinga. No slush, no real boats going from Odisha to Indonesia, so what?

But on one occasion, I admit that I felt pain when I heard two young acquaintances from Delhi spend an entire hour mournfully wishing to live abroad so that they could wear their new boots more. The two girls in boots were confusing, I realized, as they were well aware that they were not in Ugg country. Other people were happy to pretend they were in a place where knee to ankle height was a daily issue.

Where does the pretension end and where does the pretension begin? Your answer will determine how irritated you are with young people and their pseudonym. Your answer is only slightly influenced by your age. A, for example, is 27 years old. And when novelist Krishna Sobti remembered the pretense / pretense of her youth in her near memory,A Gujarat here, a Gujarat there, she was 92 years old. In a beautiful episode, she describes being a schoolgirl from Lahore who decides to organize a birthday party with 120 guests on the banks of the Ravi. She comes to the idea of ​​this fabulous afternoon another afternoon alone in an adult cafe. People are looking at her, clearly wondering if she’s expecting someone. But Sobti remembers that daring moment: “I walked in and ordered my tea. I focused intensely on each sip. For a while I forgot all about the tea and mathri in the canteen … And then, as I was sitting there, I had a sudden revelation. “It might have been easy to look back this afternoon and laugh at the pretensions of greatness but Sobti doesn’t she doesn’t. ”She recognizes the need for all of us to pretend until we do in the cafe of life.

Cheap Thrills is a bimonthly column about millennials, obsessions and secrets. Nisha Susan is the editor of The Ladies Finger webzine.

@chasingiamb

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Hacking adult dating site exposes millions of users – channel 4 news

May 21, 2015

Hackers have attacked one of the world’s largest internet dating sites, leaking the highly sensitive sex information of nearly four million users across the web.

The stolen data reveals the sexual preferences of users, whether gay or straight, and even points to those who might be looking for extramarital affairs. Additionally, the hackers revealed unique email addresses, usernames, dates of birth, zip codes, and Internet addresses of users’ computers.

Channel 4 News has investigated the cyber world, finding out which websites have been hacked and exposing the personal information trade of millions of people through so-called “dark web” sites.

Secret Forum

The investigation led to a secret forum in which a hacker dubbed MMR[RG] posted details of Adult FriendFinder users. The site has 63 million users worldwide and claims over 7 million UK members. It advertises itself as a “thriving sex community” and as a result users often share sensitive sex information when they register.

Information of 3.9 million Adult FriendFinder members has been leaked, including those who have told the site to delete their accounts.

Shaun Harper is among those whose details have been released. “The site looked OK, but when I got down to it I realized it wasn’t really for me, I was looking for something longer term. But by then, I had already given my information. You could not access the site without providing information.

“I deleted my account, so I thought the information was gone. These sites are meant to be secure.

Spam emails

Hours after the data breach, forum hackers said they intended to hit victims with spam emails, and Mr. Harper has been targeted with infected emails since his information was released to the public. .

Online crime experts believe that after the initial spam campaign, hackers will now start looking for potential blackmail targets in the data. The spreadsheets contain addresses linked to dozens of members of the government and armed forces, including members of the British Army.

“When you have names, dates of birth, zip codes, it offers the possibility of targeting specific people, whether they are in government or in the health sector, for example, so that you can profile that person. and send more targeted blackmail-type emails, ”says Charlie McMurdie, cybercrime specialist for PwC and former head of the metropolitan policethe electronic crime unit of.

The front page of California-based Adult FriendFinder features photos of dozens of attractive young women. Yet the hacked data, contained in 15 spreadsheets, reveals how few women seem to be using Adult FriendFinder.

Of the 26,939 users with an email address in the UK, for example, only 1,596 identified as female: a ratio of one woman to 16 men.

FriendFinder Networks Inc, owner of Adult FriendFinder, told Channel 4 News:

“FriendFinder Networks Inc… fully understands and appreciates the seriousness of the problem.

“We have already started working closely with law enforcement and launched a full investigation with the help of a leading third-party forensic expert.

“We are committed to taking the appropriate measures necessary to protect our customers if they are affected.”

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Adult Friend Finder has suffered a massive user data breach

Adult Friend Finder has suffered a massive user data breach

Login Site Finding Adult Friends has suffered a serious security breach, with the data of as many as 4 million of its users leaking onto the Internet. In related news, the Adult Friend Finder login site is apparently still something out there?

The leak includes email addresses, usernames, dates of birth, zip codes and sexual preferences.

LiveCamLink | Camgirls

By reports in onlooker, the hacker is called MMR[RG], and claims he attacked the site because they owed a friend money, for which he is demanding payment:

ADULTFRIENDFINDER.COM> it’s owed to my guy $ 247,938.28 BITCH !!!!!!!!!!!


You have been ROOTED; D


Because Itz Pay yo DUEZ or we COMIN 4 U !!!!!!


scream to hell for bandwidth:

The message is then followed by links to 15 files containing personal data, although obviously the credit card information has been removed. It was noted that part of the data disclosed is that of users who had attempted to delete their profiles.

By reports in Fortune, Adult Friend Finder “works closely” with law enforcement and forensic experts to identify the source of the violation. In a later forum post, ROR[RG] claimed to be in Thailand and ready to “pay” local law enforcement to avoid trouble.

Adult Friend Finder referred affected users to the following blog post, explaining the actions they took and noting that they are still not aware of the “full range” of the leak.

Moreover, recent figures have shown that almost 40% of tinder users are already in a relationship and lying about it, so before you get blissful, just remember:

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Where are the children of Notorious BIG now? His two adult children are thriving

When Kobe Bryant has passed away on January 26 at the age of 41, we were reminded of other iconic figures whose lives were tragically cut short. One of those people is The great notorious

Not only was the rapper only 24 when he was killed in a 1997 car shootout, he also left behind a woman and two children. Despite the loss of their father at a young age, the hip-hop artist’s son and daughter drew inspiration from his famous career to find his way to success.

Where are the children of Notorious BIG now?

Grammy nominee’s firstborn, T’yanna Dream Wallace, was only 3 when her father was shot, but keeps his memory alive through his brand, Notoriouss Clothing. “The name Wallace is great, I’m not going to lie… I’m just trying to continue the legacy,” she said. Music TV exclusives in 2016.

Source: Instagram

The article continues under advertisement

“That’s why I started my clothing line dedicated to him… I’m not into music, I don’t rap or whatever, so I was like, let me do something that I like to devote to him. “

In a conversation in 2018 with iHeartRadio, T’yanna – whose mother is Biggie’s ex-girlfriend Jan Jackson – shared that her passion for fashion started in high school. “Each part [of Notoriouss clothing] is designed by me, ”the 26-year-old revealed, adding that she usually marks the anniversary of her father’s death with a special edition item.

“I’m going to do a collaboration with another artist, and we’re going to do a T-shirt together that usually has a picture of my dad on it, something that has to do with him,” she explained. “I’m proud of him to have left this legacy for himself at such a young age. I feel like it’s really hard to do… almost always being a household name is really amazing.”

As for Biggie’s son, Christopher George Latore Wallace Jr. (aka CJ), the 23-year-old has become an artist like his father. But instead of rapping, he found success as an actor.

The article continues under advertisement

notorious cj wallace tall

Source: Instagram

CJ’s first role was playing a younger version of his father in the 2009 biopic, Popular, and he recently appeared in the television adaptation of the slasher movie franchise Scream. The New Yorker is also an entrepreneur, having started a cannabis company called Think BIG in March 2019.

The company Instagram biography states that he “leads a social movement challenging humans to discover how herbal products can be used for curiosity, creativity, contemplation and healing.”

The article continues under advertisement

The company also spawned a distinct lifestyle brand called Frank White (Biggie’s alter ego) consisting of clothing, accessories, health and wellness products, music and other forms of content, including memorabilia from the rapper.

“I never wanted to do anything with my father’s music, as you might expect,” CJ admitted to Forbes in an interview earlier this month. “I’ve always heard about cassettes, never-before-seen verses, never-before-seen sequences that I would like to work with to create something new, not just music.”

the great notorious

Source: Getty Images

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A Conversation Between Two Fangirls: If We Were Villains by ML Rio

Written by Maša Tome and Hannah French

Two fangirl besties chatting about all things nerdy… Yes, we did something. One thing where we sit down and chat about our favorite things and try to get you to join us in fangirling about them! Focus du jour, a book that we don’t talk about enough – but which should be – If we were bad guys by ML Rio. Read on to see us fangirl about this book and tell you why you absolutely should take it!

A brief recap of If We Were Villains:

Oliver Marks has just served ten years in prison – for a murder he may or may not have committed. On the day of his release, he is greeted by the man who put him in prison. Detective Colborne is retiring, but before he does, he wants to know what really happened ten years ago.

As one of seven young actors who study Shakespeare at an elite art school, Oliver and his friends play the same roles on and off stage: hero, villain, tyrant, temptress, ingenuous, extra. But when the cast changes and the supporting characters usurp the stars, the plays are dangerously overflowing with life and one of them is found dead. The others face their biggest acting challenge yet: convincing themselves and the police that they are blameless.

Describe If we were bad guys in 5 words!

Hannah: Mystery, drama, Shakespeare…
Maša: Murder and friends! It barely covers the complexity of this magnificent masterpiece, but it’s a start!

What do you like most about this book?

H: The characters and the friendships they share. These relationships are so complex and riddled with so much angst, jealousy, competition, pretense and love!
M: I also love the way Rio portrays that these relationships can be so toxic too. On the one hand, these characters share some lovely friendships (and love stories), but they’re so connected to each other that it sometimes overshadows everything they do for a living. It’s also an LGBTQ + book!
H: Another thing I love about this book is the concept of theater and performance! All the characters love Shakespeare and are addicted to the stage. This book really shows what games and words mean to people. It also shows the addictive nature of spotlighting and pretending to be someone else.
M: Yes, it will be a treat for anyone who enjoys Shakespeare, the theater or just dark, atmospheric and twisted stories in general!

Everything you need to know about the main characters!

H&M: We noted their official “titles” but also added our own touch!

Oliver – “The Faithful Companion”; the unconscious
James – “The Heroic Guy”; the noble
Meredith – “La femme fatale”; the heart breaker
Alexandre – “The bad guy”; the troubled teenager
Filippa – “The chameleon”; the only sane one
Richard – “The Tyrant”; the proud idiot
Eurasian Wren – “L’Ingénue”; the extra

Why should you choose If we were bad guys and what themes are covered?

M: You should definitely choose IWWV if you adore the works of Shakespeare or the dark academic genre in general! And even if you are a total beginner in academia, this book will make it easy for you!
H: This book is also about the power of words and at the center of it are all-consuming friendships. It shows how words can consume and how the character and the real person can start to get confused if you’re not careful. IWWV shows that acting can mean adopting a different character and what happens when you start acting off stage as well.
M: IWWV covers a lot of topics and a lot of them are uncomfortable and ugly truths of our world (check the trigger warnings before you start!). It deals with trauma, drug addiction, bullying and death, but it also delves into the themes of morality, good and evil, love.
H: It also touches on themes like what makes someone a bad guy and someone else a “good guy”, a hero if you will. It also asks a very tricky question: “Can you do the wrong thing for the right reasons?” “
M: Yes! One wonders if terrible things can sometimes be justified – and under what circumstances! Basically it’s a masterful story of deception, power and love and we HIGHLY recommend it!

Which makes If we were bad guys special and / or relevant today?

M: If we were bad guys is a character-driven story that departs from the tropes and leaves you guessing! It’s a story of obsession and how far we would go for love, in the meanest way possible! But not just in terms of romantic love – IWWV deals with all kinds of diverse relationships and we’re here for it!

H: This book also points out that pride and greed can influence a person’s actions and that they can ruin friendships. All of these characters want to be the leader and they all want to be the best. This competition and tension gets them all to do things they maybe shouldn’t. IWWV has a very realistic portrayal of what greed can turn someone into. Another plus is that it’s heavy Shakespeare and will make you appreciate his work (I’ve never been the biggest Shakespeare fan but after reading this book I’m in love).

See also

M: If We Were Villains could be categorized into the new dark, grown-up college genre due to its main themes and graphic descriptions, so keep that in mind!

Book recommendations if you liked What if we were bad guys?

H: It’s not a book but the musical Bare (pop opera) is about students from a Catholic boarding school and they put Romeo and Juliet so there are some similarities with IWWV! Another great book to pick up if you liked IWWV is Call the hawk by Maggie Stiefvater.

M: Of course, you can also check out other popular Dark Academy “classics” at this point, such as The secret story by Donna Tartt, Vicious by VE Schwab, or Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo!

H: Now go read this dark masterpiece and let us know your thoughts and thoughts!

M: And don’t forget to prepare a few handkerchiefs before you start!

Will you be reading If we were bad guys? And if you’ve read it already, let us know who your favorite character is in the comments below!

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A Conversation Between Two Fangirls: If We Were Villains by ML Rio

Written by Maša Tome and Hannah French

Two fangirl besties chatting about all things nerdy… Yes, we did something. One thing where we sit down and chat about our favorite things and try to get you to join us in fangirling about them! Focus du jour, a book that we don’t talk about enough – but which should be – If we were bad guys by ML Rio. Read on to see us fangirl about this book and tell you why you absolutely should take it!

A brief recap of If We Were Villains:

Oliver Marks has just served ten years in prison – for a murder he may or may not have committed. On the day of his release, he is greeted by the man who put him in prison. Detective Colborne is retiring, but before he does, he wants to know what really happened ten years ago.

As one of seven young actors who study Shakespeare at an elite art school, Oliver and his friends play the same roles on and off stage: hero, villain, tyrant, temptress, ingenuous, extra. But when the cast changes and the supporting characters usurp the stars, the plays are dangerously overflowing with life and one of them is found dead. The others face their biggest acting challenge yet: convincing themselves and the police that they are blameless.

Describe If we were bad guys in 5 words!

Hannah: Mystery, drama, Shakespeare…
Maša: Murder and friends! It barely covers the complexity of this magnificent masterpiece, but it’s a start!

What do you like most about this book?

H: The characters and the friendships they share. These relationships are so complex and riddled with so much angst, jealousy, competition, pretense and love!
M: I also love the way Rio portrays that these relationships can be so toxic too. On the one hand, these characters share some lovely friendships (and love stories), but they’re so connected to each other that it sometimes overshadows everything they do for a living. It’s also an LGBTQ + book!
H: Another thing I love about this book is the concept of theater and performance! All the characters love Shakespeare and are addicted to the stage. This book really shows what games and words mean to people. It also shows the addictive nature of spotlighting and pretending to be someone else.
M: Yes, it will be a treat for anyone who enjoys Shakespeare, the theater or just dark, atmospheric and twisted stories in general!

Everything you need to know about the main characters!

H&M: We noted their official “titles” but also added our own touch!

Oliver – “The Faithful Companion”; the unconscious
James – “The Heroic Guy”; the noble
Meredith – “La femme fatale”; the heart breaker
Alexandre – “The bad guy”; the troubled teenager
Filippa – “The chameleon”; the only sane one
Richard – “The Tyrant”; the proud idiot
Eurasian Wren – “L’Ingénue”; the extra

Why should you choose If we were bad guys and what themes are covered?

M: You should definitely choose IWWV if you adore the works of Shakespeare or the dark academic genre in general! And even if you are a total beginner in academia, this book will make it easy for you!
H: This book is also about the power of words and at the center of it are all-consuming friendships. It shows how words can consume and how the character and the real person can start to get confused if you’re not careful. IWWV shows that acting can mean adopting a different character and what happens when you start acting off stage as well.
M: IWWV covers a lot of topics and a lot of them are uncomfortable and ugly truths of our world (check the trigger warnings before you start!). It deals with trauma, drug addiction, bullying and death, but it also delves into the themes of morality, good and evil, love.
H: It also touches on themes like what makes someone a bad guy and someone else a “good guy”, a hero if you will. It also asks a very tricky question: “Can you do the wrong thing for the right reasons?” “
M: Yes! One wonders if terrible things can sometimes be justified – and under what circumstances! Basically it’s a masterful story of deception, power and love and we HIGHLY recommend it!

Which makes If we were bad guys special and / or relevant today?

M: If we were bad guys is a character-driven story that departs from the tropes and leaves you guessing! It’s a story of obsession and how far we would go for love, in the meanest way possible! But not just in terms of romantic love – IWWV deals with all kinds of diverse relationships and we’re here for it!

H: This book also points out that pride and greed can influence a person’s actions and that they can ruin friendships. All of these characters want to be the leader and they all want to be the best. This competition and tension gets them all to do things they maybe shouldn’t. IWWV has a very realistic portrayal of what greed can turn someone into. Another plus is that it’s heavy Shakespeare and will make you appreciate his work (I’ve never been the biggest Shakespeare fan but after reading this book I’m in love).

See also

M: If We Were Villains could be categorized into the new dark, grown-up college genre due to its main themes and graphic descriptions, so keep that in mind!

Book recommendations if you liked What if we were bad guys?

H: It’s not a book but the musical Bare (pop opera) is about students from a Catholic boarding school and they put Romeo and Juliet so there are some similarities with IWWV! Another great book to pick up if you liked IWWV is Call the hawk by Maggie Stiefvater.

M: Of course, you can also check out other popular Dark Academy “classics” at this point, such as The secret story by Donna Tartt, Vicious by VE Schwab, or Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo!

H: Now go read this dark masterpiece and let us know your thoughts and thoughts!

M: And don’t forget to prepare a few handkerchiefs before you start!

Will you be reading If we were bad guys? And if you’ve read it already, let us know who your favorite character is in the comments below!

read more
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What it’s like to be the adult child of an alcoholic

photo credit: diego_cervo | Getty

Every year, for the past few years, I have texted my mother on her birthday. I know it’s really weird. Who has a mom, who’s still alive, and they don’t at least pick up the phone to call her? Now that we have so many technological options, a video chat would probably make even more sense. But my mom and I don’t have that kind of relationship.

I rarely call her because she is a alcoholic. There have been many instances where I have called her to give her a good news, an important update or just to check it out, and I could barely understand what she was saying because she was hammering her words so hard. . I decided that our phone time would be very limited in the future so I wouldn’t have to deal with it.

This type of behavior is nothing new to me. My mother has been an alcoholic for over three decades. As a child, I used to be disappointed with my mother. I wasn’t sure exactly why she rarely came when she promised me something. There were times I was waiting for her, literally looking out the window for her to appear, and she never showed up. I was too young to understand that she had an illness and that her addiction made her act in ways that she might not have had if she weren’t under the influence. All I knew was that I loved my mom more than anything. I wanted to be with her. And she didn’t seem to want me at all.

She and my dad divorced and I ended up living with my dad because she couldn’t take care of me. I left the country with my father, and soon after I left I received a letter from my mother admitting her alcohol addiction and apologizing for how it affected me and our relationship.

Although our relationship wasn’t perfect after that, when I returned to the States, at least she was sober. I thought that the older I got, and since I had my own children, it would give her the opportunity to feel the immense love that so many mothers receive from their children. My mother stayed sober for about ten years until she fell off the wagon again, just when I was pregnant with my first child.

She hasn’t been the same since.

At this point, I have no expectations as to what my mom is going to do, or how she is going to behave at all. As an adult child of an alcoholic, I understand that I cannot depend on her at all. Not for me, and certainly not for my children. All the hurt and pain that I have been through, I would never want to inflict on my children. I did a pretty good job protecting them from the way she hurts me, but there have been a few incidents that have left me angry with myself for giving my mom the benefit of the doubt.

Because my mother started while drinking again just as i got pregnant with my first child i never had that maternal support that makes things so much easier during pregnancy. She wasn’t completely gone by then, but her inconsistency ended up doing more harm than good. Once I was in the hospital with pregnancy complications. She said she was going to get me something to eat. By the time she arrived she was so drunk and acting to the point that I had to ask her to leave.

I saw my mother the day my daughter was born. She promised to come back to spend my first Mother’s Day with me since I would be in the hospital, but she never came back. I haven’t seen her for a month. A few months later, after reassuring me that she was sober, I asked her to sit with my daughter while I went to an emergency dentist appointment. When I got home, she had been drinking and calling my daughter dirty names. Even after that, I still haven’t abandoned my mother.

It was about a year later that I decided to move across the country, and my mom was in rehab. I went to visit him and took my daughter to say goodbye to her, and I was ambushed by her advisor who questioned me about lie after lie that my mother had told about me. I was furious! After everything we had been through, what she had done to me as a child and young adult, was she blaming me? It was out of the question that I would allow my child to experience this.

But to be an adult is to give a second chance. And we can all use a little grace. So I tried again. I told my mom that we should try to put the past behind us and start over. She came to California for my wedding and cried when I included her in the events. She was talking to my daughter on the phone, listening to her toddler antics for much longer than she had to. I thought my mom was back. May my children have a relationship with her that I never had.

But that damn alcohol.

You never know when to call and it will be consistent. I bought her tickets to come visit her over spring break last year, and she never showed up. I then told him that I was done and that I wasn’t trying any more. And so, instead of calling on Mother’s Day or other special occasions, I would text.

This year, I sent her a birthday text message, and her response gave me some hope. I thought about how I held my children away from their grandmother and how I let my past dictate their relationship. Instead of asking my daughter to text, I thought I would let my kids call. As soon as my mom answered the phone, I knew it was a bad idea. My daughter’s face was filled with confusion as she tried to decipher what my mother was saying. I picked up the phone, said goodbye and hung up.

To be the adult child of an alcoholic sucks. I’m used to heartache. This is what I have known for most of my life. I was over the pain of not being able to count on her like other friends relied on their mother.

Knowing that my children have a living grandmother who cannot be there for them breaks my heart. For days after that phone call, I felt like I was in mourning. The sadness just didn’t want to go away. After all the work I have done to heal the wounds of being the child of an alcoholic, I feel like they are opening up again as I think about what my children are missing.

A friend of mine suggested Al-anon, a support program for people who have been affected by someone’s drinking. I went to listen and felt a little better that I wasn’t the only one who felt the need to give it another chance, but I also wanted to wash my mother’s hands. It was helpful to know that other people face the same guilt as me. And the same sadness.

Next, I plan to speak to a therapist. I started to take note of my feelings. I spoke about it on Facebook. Just expressing my feelings about my mother helped me heal again.

I don’t really know what the future holds for my mom and her relationship with my kids and me. All I know is I have to be strong and able to be there for my children like my mom couldn’t be there for me.

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Shack Chat: What do you want for the holidays this year?

The holidays are just around the corner and the staff at Shacknews have plenty on our wish list. Before making requests to Santa Claus, we would like to post what we want most for the general public. Do we want video games? Or do we want something to help us play more video games? Do we want video games in the general neighborhood?

Let’s get in there and talk about what we want for the holidays.


Question: What do you want for the holidays this year?

Enough alcohol to last the rest of the pandemic – Ozzie Mejia, Grinch

Leave it right at my door. If I’m going to be home for the foreseeable future, then I at least want to have something to help me get through this. I have grown to appreciate home delivery services and have taken advantage of them at almost every turn throughout the pandemic. I have come to depend on it doubly, as nebulous stay-at-home orders have fallen from the leaders of Los Angeles. So you know what? If I’m going to stay home then just give a pandemic-sized supply of beer, I’ll stay socially away from everyone and wait for this to end.

A new car – Donovan Erskine, Bip beep

I mean, why not? My car is fine, but it also has over 200,000 miles and sounds like a lawn mower when the engine is running. It would relieve a lot of stress and worry to have a brand new vehicle for the handful of times I leave the house these days. Specifically, I would like a Tesla Model S. These cars look super cool, and they are electric! Cool stuff. I’ve never been a car enthusiast, but I would love to have one. Go ahead, Santa Claus.

GI Joe Aircraft Carrier USS Flagg – Blake Morse, Knows Knowing Is Only Half The Battle

This massive vehicle is essentially the holy grail of ’80s toys. When fully assembled, it is about seven feet long and packed with cool little features like elevators for figures and vehicles, as well as a working sound system. However, it wasn’t cheap when it first launched, and it’s certainly not more affordable now that time has passed. Be prepared to spend a few bucks if you want a full, fully functional setup. It’s the kind of thing any child or adult child slowly redeeming their childhood would love to see under something that their personal denomination puts on gifts this holiday season.

1 lb of weed – Chris Jarrard, Le trilles

If Santa Claus is real, he might make this horrible year a little more bearable if he dropped a pound of this good in my fireplace. I’m going to use it for chillax and listen to my Phil Collins records while sipping Capri Suns.

Quality Time With The Wife – Sam Chandler, R&R

I just want a little more time to sit down with my partner and relax. Whether we’re reading together, having tea, playing with our cats, watching TV or movies, or playing games, I just want to spend more time with her. She has been incredibly supportive and understanding during this difficult and demanding year and all I want this holiday season is to spend every waking moment with her. Heck, that’s all I want even outside of the holiday season.

Toaster oven – Bill Lavoy, GM Extraordinaire

I can’t explain why, but throughout 2020 I’ve wanted a toaster oven, and instead of getting one for myself, I keep telling people I want it as a gift. I don’t even own a toaster, but I really want a toaster oven. I don’t know where it’s going to go, but I’ll sort out the logistics later. A toaster oven seems like something that would improve my cooking, much like the traditional stovetop kettle that I added a few years ago. I spent days reading reviews to find the one with the best whistle. Come to think of it… do I have to trust someone else to buy me a toaster oven?

Getting the F *** out of the house – Josh Hawkins, Guide Editor

2020 has been tough, I’m not going to lie. We’ve all had rough times, and all I really want for the holidays is the ability to get out of this house and have some fun without having to worry about a billion stupid people doing stupid things. . It really is. That’s really all I want. Yeah, that sounds nice.

Generalized Restore Netcode – TJ Denzer, delighted to see Tekken 7 restore

Hi, it’s been a cool year for netcode restoration in the fighter community. It’s also a shame that the reason is that the pandemic has killed fighting game events and now every business that previously didn’t care about this stuff is finding out how beneficial the restore netcode can be. It shouldn’t have taken a catastrophic year for this to happen, but now that we’re here, I hope the innovation doesn’t stop.

Tekken 7 has shown us that netcode restoration is not only highly possible, but incredibly beneficial to the online life of a fighting game. Guilty Gear Strive is working feverishly to try and make this a thing someday. This must continue to be the trend. No more trash online with games like Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. It is no longer an acceptable state of affairs. Street Fighter 6? Don’t even tell me about it unless there is a flashback. The future has been shown to us. There is only one right way to go. For the future of the FGC, that the adoption of catering is an industry standard rather than a miraculous and limited occurrence.

Quality Play Time – David L. Craddock, Editor of Long Reads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=videoseries

2020 has been a catastrophic year in almost every way. Dozens of great games have come out, and while I was fortunate enough to keep busy, it didn’t give me enough time to play. All the work and no play, yada-yada. Once I complete the final sprint of the year, I have two weeks of quality playtime locked in. Just me, my wife (who also loves games!) And my PS5, Switch, and gaming PC, every platform is packed with awesome experiences.

A break from my PC – Greg Burke, Head of Video

Every day I am in front of my PC for 12 or even 14 hours. I can’t wait to sit on my couch and play console games with my feet up, play with our kittens, and maybe if she’s nice I’ll hang out with my wife. I have no plans to go to my home office during the break at all.

It’s the season ! – Steve Tyminski, Contributing Editor

What do I want for the holidays? Ideally, I wish I didn’t have sore feet most of the day, but that’s unrealistic. So instead, I’m going with a new Devils hockey jersey. The league announced the retro collection for all teams and the Devils have a new red and green jersey, perfect for the holiday season. Also, if anyone wants to send me a nice gaming chair, I would take that too.


This is what we hope for this year. Hopefully none of us can find a lump of coal in our stockpile. What’s on your vacation wishlist? Join the conversation and let us know in the comments.

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Holy Pinto Presents Growing Pains on New Album, “Adult”

Holy Pinto releases their second album, Adult, Friday March 8. The sound is sure to be a hit with the indie pop world. Wellness music takes you on a journey to come out of your youth and face the situations of your youth.

The album opens with “Adult # 1” welcoming listeners for an album about growing up and aging. Although short, the lyrics stand out as the opening focuses on them with the help of the acapella voice. Single, “Daisychain”, is next with a heavy guitar sound climax. The highly relevant lyrics about a lost love are sure to keep listeners on the journey to grow old.

“Goldleaf” and “Salt” are sure to be hits with the catchy chorus and dancing pop tunes. Both songs are the ones you would blow up with your windows down on a hot summer day.

“King” begins by creating anticipation that turns into a full indie vibe. Guitar chord interludes are a great addition for the sound to change throughout the song. On the same interesting note, “Brother,” begins with a guitar build and turns into a one-minute instrumental introduction adding another point to the independent scoreboard.

A rock and soft sound is presented in “You Are My Seatbelt”. With lyrics geared towards another relationship, whether it fails or succeeds, it again harkens back to the ever-popular feeling of growing up.

The album ends with “Adult # 2”, which is another ode to aging. With the slow progression towards the strong instrumental ending, the song is quite a great ending to the album capturing the real upbeat vocalist, Aymen, set up. “The best is yet to come” is the last word you hear, offering an excellent foreshadowing of the future of Holy Pinto in music.

To celebrate the album’s release, you can see Holy Pinto at the Cactus Club in Milwaukee, WI on March 9, 2019.

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