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How To Help Adult Children Become Financially Independent | Family finances

It is natural for parents to want to provide for their children – maybe even after their children are gone at all. More and more, parents continue to support their children financially into adulthood. But at the same time give financial assistance to your children may provide a short-term lifeline, it could actually be a long-term harm.

“Granted, it’s hard to get started these days, much harder than a generation or two ago due to sky-high rents, house prices and sometimes job uncertainty,” says Kathy McCoy, psychotherapist and author of “We Don Say No More: Healing After Parents and Their Adult Children Have Gone away.” “[But] sometimes it can be a very loving thing to say no or to put a limit on what you are able or willing to help. “

Indeed, the Great Recession was tough on young adults. In October 2009, when the national unemployment rate peaked at 10.2% overall, it rose to 15.6% for those aged 20 to 24 and to 10.8% for those aged 20 to 24. aged 25 to 34. In comparison, the unemployment rate for people aged 55 and older was only 7 percent at the time.

The labor market has improved in all age groups, at least. The rate in December 2017 had fallen to 4.1% overall, 7.1% for 20 to 24 year olds, 4.5% for 25 to 34 year olds and 3% for 35 to 44 year olds. Yet a rough start to adulthood can leave lasting impressions, and parents continue to help them get through it.

One of the most common ways that parents can help their children financially is to cover certain budget items, such as rent, cell phone bills, and transport costssays Megan Ford, a financial therapist at the University of Georgia and blogger at Less frequently, she saw parents helping with daily costs such as food and clothing, as well as paying the bills for the care and activities of grandchildren.

Credit cards are another common method of financial aid, says Davon Barrett, a financial analyst at financial planning firm Francis Financial in New York City. He has seen parents turn their adult children into authorized users on one of their credit card and allowing them to bill at will while paying off the balances themselves.

This strategy has obvious financial implications. If your child charges too much, you could end up with a month-to-month balance and have a high debt utilization rate, which will hurt your credit score. “You are putting your credit at risk,” Barrett says. Likewise, he notes that some parents could co-sign loans for their children and risk their own ability to borrow or refinance in the future.

Parents can also risk their retirement prospects if they prioritize helping their adult children before saving for themselves. “There can be very real financial consequences for parents, especially for those who need to accelerate their retirement savings or who sacrifice their own well-being because they feel obligated to help their children,” Ford said. “Parents should be aware of the financial impact of this assistance on their long term financial situation.”


And if you think it seems selfish to put your own savings needs ahead of your children’s, consider this: When you find out that you can’t afford to retire, who will you depend on as you get older? ? You may think you can continue to work and support yourself forever, but if you become ill or incapacitated, your child care costs will likely fall on your children.

“You have to be attentive to your own financial situation and above all protect your own financial security because it could also be a kindness for your kids, ”says McCoy. “If you take care of yourself now, they won’t have to help you when you are much older, at least financially. “

Your children – and your relationship – could also suffer if you over-help them financially. “There could also be concerns about financial empowerment, which causes adult children to become dependent on parental financial assistance and less motivated to pursue financial independence,” said Ford. “These situations can lead to parental frustration and conflict between parents and children.”

A better strategy to endlessly cover the costs of your adult children? If you don’t want to cut your kids’ cold turkey right away, Barrett recommends providing them with an allowance rather than paying the bills directly on their behalf. “It teaches them some responsibility – allows them to pay their bills on time and stay on budget,” he says. “It sounds simple, but once your parents do this for you and all of a sudden it stops, it can be a shock, and that’s when we see adult children leaving drop the ball because they just aren’t familiar with the process. “

Also, be sure to calculate the numbers and see how much you can really afford to provide your kids in terms of financial assistance. And have an honest discussion together, with these numbers in hand. “It relieves the parent of the guilt and makes it clear to the child that my parent is watching over me and it’s the best they can do,” Barrett said.

You might consider enlisting professional help to guide you through this discussion with your children. “If the prospect of tackling this sounds daunting, seeing a professional, such as a financial therapist, can help parents and children, and even entire families, find ways to deal with the problem more successfully,” said Ford.

Also think about how you could help your children in non-financial ways. Especially if their dependence on you has been recurring, you might just be fostering bad habits. McCoy suggests offering to help out with the grandchildren while your kids are looking for work or trying to earn more. Even providing counseling or emotional support could be helpful. “The answer to a financial crisis with an adult child isn’t always to rush with money,” she says. “It’s the easiest in some ways, but it’s not always the best thing in terms of promoting their financial independence.”

Whatever you decide to do, remember that any financial assistance you provide must fall under your own budget and long-term financial plan. “You have to be very careful to distinguish between wanting to be a helpful parent and putting yourself at risk financially,” Barrett said.

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New data breach may have exposed the personal information of almost every American adult

Little-known Florida company may have exposed the personal data of nearly every American adult, according to a new report.

Wired reported Wednesday that Exactis, a marketing and data aggregation company based in Palm Coast, Fla., exposed a database containing nearly 2 terabytes of data, containing nearly 340 million individual records, on a public server . This included the records of 230 million consumers and 110 million businesses.

“It appears to be a database containing just about every citizen of the United States,” security researcher Vinny Troia, who discovered the breach earlier this month, told Wired. “I don’t know where the data came from, but this is one of the most comprehensive collections I have ever seen,” he said.

Lily: How the number of data breaches is skyrocketing – in one graph

Although the database apparently does not include credit card numbers or social security numbers, it does include phone numbers, email and postal addresses as well as over 400 personal characteristics, such as the fact whether a person is a smoker, whether they own a dog or cat, their religion and a multitude of personal interests. Even if no financial information was included, the breadth of personal data could potentially profile individuals or help crooks steal identities.

Troia told Wired that he can easily access the database over the internet, and in theory a lot of other people could have it too. He said he warned Exactis and the FBI of the vulnerability and that the data is no longer publicly available.

Also see:Everything you wanted to know about data breaches, privacy breaches and hacks

On its website, Exactis said it has kept 3.5 billion consumer, business and digital records, including “demographic, geographic, firmographic, lifestyle, interests, GIC, automotive and behavioral data.” The company said it has data on 218 million people and 110 million U.S. households.

There are about 325 million people in the United States, with about 244 million adults and 126 million households, according to the US Census Bureau.

Exactis did not immediately respond when asked to confirm the violation.

If confirmed, the data breach would be one of the biggest in history, and far bigger than last year’s Equifax data breach that exposed the personal information of around 148 million consumers .

A 2016 breach of AdultFriendFinder exposed the data of more than 412 million accounts, while the Yahoo hack in 2013 exposed the personal data of about 3 billion accounts.

While this is technically not a violation, Facebook Inc. FB,
said in March that most of its 2 billion users had their personal data “improperly shared” without their permission, including around 87 million profiles that were scraped by Cambridge Analytica.

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With a “heavy heart”, a judge orders an adult trial for a teenager

LITTLE ROCK – Alleged gang member and accused trigger Brian Edward Shields will be on trial as an adult, Pulaski County Circuit Judge Cathi Compton said “with a heavy heart.”

The 18-year-old man from Little Rock had asked the judge to transfer his charges to juvenile court with an expanded juvenile justice designation that would give him the opportunity to rehabilitate with the possibility that he could be sent in prison if not found to be redeemed by the time he turns 21.

Shields faces charges of first-degree bodily harm, terrorist acts and aggravated assault resulting from arrests in June when he was 17.

Prosecutors argued that there was little the juvenile justice system could offer Shields and that he had already shown he was unwilling to change his ways. Compton agreed with them in a decision Wednesday, saying she would not relinquish the jurisdiction of the proceeding “for the protection of society” and Shields himself.

“I do this with a very heavy heart,” she wrote.

Shields is accused of shooting two women in June in an ambush outside a Wright Avenue liquor store that investigators believe was an attack on a man with them, also a suspected gang member, in which the Police said they were part of some sort of factional feud of the Bloods street gang. The man’s 3-year-old daughter was with them when the women were shot.

In a separate incident, Shields is accused of threatening residents of a southwest Little Rock home with a weapon shortly before a drive-by shootout in November 2019 at the South Schiller Street home of Gralon McFadden, the father of Darren McFadden, a former All-American running back and retired Dallas Cowboy and Oakland Raider. The residents of the house had left before the gunfire, so no one was hurt.

Shields, who is in jail awaiting trial, was already under juvenile supervision for firearms offenses when he was arrested.

He successfully completed a juvenile boot camp program, which his lawyers said showed him to be a good candidate for rehabilitation. Lawyers disputed the gang charges, saying police confused his involvement in the local rap music scene with that of a gang.

Supported by the testimony of Shields’ mother, they argued that he had been traumatized by the sudden death of his father, who was killed in an unsolved shooting when he was 12, and did not never delivered. The shock of the loss caused him to make bad choices and associate with corrupt elements that led him astray, they said.

Compton noted that the juvenile system had missed opportunities to help Shields and said she found the teenager’s situation frustrating, disturbing and concerning, but wanted to retain her competence.

“I am deeply concerned that he may have slipped through the cracks of the juvenile system,” Compton wrote.

“Although the Ministry of Youth Services… has some programs to help the defendant, I feel frustrated with my inability to control what services it would be. I would like the respondent to receive the psychosocial assessment that he clearly needs. the loss of his father in 2015 must have been singularly traumatic, and all of us would need help after such an event. I would love for the accused to participate in a gun safety and prevention program, ”she wrote in her orders. “But, if I were to transfer him to Extended Juvenile Court, I would lose jurisdiction, and therefore any ability to ensure that he gets the help he needs. I find that very disturbing.”

Authorities said Shields was recorded in June discussing an ongoing feud he had with another suspected gang member, Daishun Allen, 21, of Little Rock. Eight days later Allen was shot dead in the 1600 block of John Barrow Road. Allen had survived another shootout earlier in the month that killed a man who was with him, Nicholas Daniel Jones, 20. No one has been arrested for these murders.

Allen was awaiting trial for committing an act of terrorism and illegally firing a gun for shooting Adrian Bazzelle, 18, a friend of Shields’ friend whom police called a gang member, in a drive-by shooting in July 2019 on Malloy Street which also targeted Shields and Cortez Westbrook, 29, according to court documents.

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Six reasons to start learning a musical instrument as an adult – Music Reads

What is the right age to start learning a musical instrument?

If your intention is to become a professional performer on concert stages around the world, then the younger the better.

But let’s ask the question again for the rest of us, the overwhelming majority who won’t end up playing music professionally, but love music and would just love to be in the middle, playing for the fun of it. What is the ideal age to start learning an instrument?

The answer is simple. Your age.

Here’s Martin Buzacott’s guide to why you should use a musical instrument right now, no matter what your age, with a little extra wisdom from ABC Classic listeners.

1. It’s fun

First the bad news. You are unlikely to make it to Carnegie Hall. Now for the good news. It takes the pressure off right away. So let’s be clear on why you pick up an instrument, you do it because it’s actually fun and the most enjoyable challenge you can imagine.

  • “I learned the violin for the first time at 59 years old. My teacher has a great sense of humor and it’s so much fun. I love the experience. lynn
  • “I am 78 years old and I am relearning the piano. My teacher is my 84 year old sister! We both appreciate it very much! Carmel
  • “I played the piano when I was a kid, but I’m now learning Gamelan! I played in a band at two shows and I am. I love that. “sue
  • “I turned 80 in January and started clarinet 5 years ago. At the moment, I am playing in the 6th year and I am working on the Saint-Saëns Sonata for clarinet and piano. I have a great teacher and the lessons are a lot of fun. Neville
  • “Retired at 57, I finally have time for two very long-standing end-of-year resolutions: to learn the piano and the bagpipe. Progress is slow but very pleasant. Jeanne

2. It’s social

Let’s face it. Sometimes our later years can be lonely. But not if you are learning an instrument. Meeting a teacher is just the start of your new social life. It’s when you go out and start playing with your classmates that you put isolation in the trash of history.

  • “Friends of mine and I started learning violin and cello in our sixties and sixties. We like to play together, so we started an annual workshop last year. Now we can play together, have fun and at the same time our concert supports local school music programs. »Kaye
  • “Our orchestra has members who learned their instruments after retirement. Our oldest member retired last year at age 92 – and he still plays in a string quartet! Anonymous

Why play the piano?

Learning to play the piano offers benefits throughout life and into old age. To demonstrate this, cognitive scientist Dr. Jennifer MacRitchie challenged the limits of working memory and keyboard dexterity of virtuoso pianist Simon Tedeschi.

3. It’s good for your brain

They say use it or lose it, and nothing exercises your brainpower like learning to coordinate your brain and body while playing music.

  • “At 78, I have been learning African and Middle Eastern percussion for over 10 years. It gives me rhythm, exercise for my hands and fingers, not to mention pleasure. These aren’t your classic instruments, but damn it, what brain training! »Wilma
  • “I started piano lessons last year, right after my 70th birthday, and it has become a mixture of fun and frustration as I try to get my fingers and brain working again. Having said that, I love it and spend time on the piano when I should be doing other things. Alison
  • “I started playing the violin at 68 years old. I still have no musical instincts and sound awful, but it’s just too good for my hands and brain to stop! Richard
  • “I have always been passionate about music, but I have never been taught. So when the nest emptied I joined a local choir, and now, seven years later and retired, I have to say that’s the most wonderful thing – it stimulates the brain, goes back the heart and “makes life better”. Jen
  • “If you weren’t taught to read music when you were a kid, then it’s more difficult as a senior, but I have a hard time with a U3A recorder orchestra because my GP says it learning something new is good for my brain. ” Jeanne

4. It’s good for your fingers too

Have you ever heard someone say that they had to give up music because of physical problems? Well, sometimes it can work the other way around and you develop physical problems because you give up the music. If you can get around the stiffness and arthritis, you might find that playing music is the best thing you can do to keep those fingers moving, or maybe even get them moving again.

  • “I am 78 years old and I am learning to play classical guitar and ukulele after a long time without music. I really want to find out that my arthritic fingers are still working. “Pam
  • “I’m 75 now and started playing cello two years ago. It is a good instrument for aging hands. Pierre
  • “Yeah! I took the violin! I am 71 years old and my teacher is 14 years old. I am so happy, even though I have a physical disability with my left shoulder. I received an honor during my AMEB preliminary exam and it was a huge encouragement. After decades of absence, I am returning to music. “- Anonymous

5. It’s an anti-stress

Have you ever noticed that the stress of modern life never seems to go away with age? But when you play music, you are in the moment and the outside world has to wait their turn to get your attention. Music dispels anxiety and gives you the time you have waited and won all your life.

  • “I’m 62 and started singing seriously seven years ago. I am now doing AMEB 7th Grade Voice and 5th Grade Musicianship. I am considering enrolling for a degree at the Sydney Conservatorium in a few years if I get there. Music is such an important part of my life, both as a hobby and as a stress reliever. John
  • “I just started the viola after nine months spent in the Borneo jungle. I forgot how much learning music and practicing my viola is good for my mental health. It’s also so stimulating to play in a small ensemble! sat

6. It’s a journey of self-discovery

Want to release your first album of original compositions in your 70s? Or realize in your sixties that you actually have a beautiful singing voice? Learning to play an instrument later in life is not just a musical journey. More so, it’s a journey of self-discovery, revealing things about yourself that you might never have known before.

  • “I learned the piano for a few years when I was a kid, but I gave up. I only started playing again as an older adult. I’m 70 now and over the past few years I’ve been writing enthusiastically – over 200 tracks now – and I’m working on releasing my first CD within a year or two. Harvey
  • “In 2006, I took two of my grandchildren to a free outdoor Taikoz show with the idea of ​​encouraging them to join one of Taikoz’s classes afterwards. Instead, I got hooked myself at the age of 65! I continued as a taiko student until the cancer weakened me so much that I could no longer use the bachi (drumsticks). It was the saddest day of my life but I still attend all of their concerts. Geoff
  • “I have wanted to learn piano all my life and finally decided to take up the challenge after two near-death experiences when I was in my 60s. I was desperate, but… while doing this, I discovered that I could sing! Not folk stuff, but Schubert and Brahms. It changed my life. I have become a music participant, not just a listener. Steve

Martin Buzacott presents Mornings on ABC Classic (Monday to Friday, 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.)

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When did Adult FriendFinder know it had been hacked? – Channel news 4

May 27, 2015

The owners of the online dating site Adult FriendFinder were warned that it was hacked more than two months before Channel 4 News revealed the leak of nearly four million sensitive data from people.

The company said the warning ended up in its spam folder, despite an email from an employee saying it had been read.

On May 21, Channel 4 News revealed that hackers had published the deeply personal sex information of approximately 3.9 million users of Adult FriendFinder, one of the largest dating sites in the world.

Read more: Adult dating site hack exposes millions of users

The data not only gave usernames, postal codes and dates of birth, but also an indication of users who were looking for an extramarital affair.

In its response to our story, the company said it had “barely been made aware” of the hack.

But an email trail on shows that a warning about the leak was sent by a cybersecurity consultant on March 12. About two hours later, a Friend Finder Networks employee responded with a “read receipt” to say that the warning email had been read.

Warning “not considered” legitimate “

The online dating company declined to comment on the read receipt, but said its “executives” only learned of the breach on May 20 when they were contacted by Channel 4 News.

“FriendFinder employees receive hundreds of sales and marketing spam messages daily, many of them from third-party cybersecurity consultants, and any prior communication on this specific issue was directed to spam folders and was not considered a legitimate email, ”the company said in a statement. .

In addition to launching an internal review, Friend Finder Networks hired Principal, a leading cybersecurity company, to investigate the hack, and is working with the fbi.

“I will break into any business or site”

Meanwhile, the person who initially dumped the information on the so-called darkweb, which uses the MMR nickname[RG}, is demanding more than £10,000 for access to the database of users, and capitalising on the news by marketing his cybercrime services.

“I have had so many people ask me to buy the db [database] today, ”the hacker wrote on the same forum where the original leak appeared, requesting payment in the anonymized currency Bitcoin.

“Or if you need to, I’ll break into any business or site for 750 in less than seven days,” the writer adds.

See the full Channel 4 News survey: Hacking Adult Dating Site Exposes Millions Of Users

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Adult Friend Finder has suffered a massive user data breach

Adult Friend Finder has suffered a massive user data breach

Login Site Finding Adult Friends has suffered a serious security breach, with the data of as many as 4 million of its users leaking onto the Internet. In related news, the Adult Friend Finder login site is apparently still something out there?

The leak includes email addresses, usernames, dates of birth, zip codes and sexual preferences.

LiveCamLink | Camgirls

By reports in onlooker, the hacker is called MMR[RG], and claims he attacked the site because they owed a friend money, for which he is demanding payment:

ADULTFRIENDFINDER.COM> it’s owed to my guy $ 247,938.28 BITCH !!!!!!!!!!!

You have been ROOTED; D

Because Itz Pay yo DUEZ or we COMIN 4 U !!!!!!

scream to hell for bandwidth:

The message is then followed by links to 15 files containing personal data, although obviously the credit card information has been removed. It was noted that part of the data disclosed is that of users who had attempted to delete their profiles.

By reports in Fortune, Adult Friend Finder “works closely” with law enforcement and forensic experts to identify the source of the violation. In a later forum post, ROR[RG] claimed to be in Thailand and ready to “pay” local law enforcement to avoid trouble.

Adult Friend Finder referred affected users to the following blog post, explaining the actions they took and noting that they are still not aware of the “full range” of the leak.

Moreover, recent figures have shown that almost 40% of tinder users are already in a relationship and lying about it, so before you get blissful, just remember:

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Hacking adult dating site exposes millions of users – channel 4 news

May 21, 2015

Hackers have attacked one of the world’s largest internet dating sites, leaking the highly sensitive sex information of nearly four million users across the web.

The stolen data reveals the sexual preferences of users, whether gay or straight, and even points to those who might be looking for extramarital affairs. Additionally, the hackers revealed unique email addresses, usernames, dates of birth, zip codes, and Internet addresses of users’ computers.

Channel 4 News has investigated the cyber world, finding out which websites have been hacked and exposing the personal information trade of millions of people through so-called “dark web” sites.

Secret Forum

The investigation led to a secret forum in which a hacker dubbed MMR[RG] posted details of Adult FriendFinder users. The site has 63 million users worldwide and claims over 7 million UK members. It advertises itself as a “thriving sex community” and as a result users often share sensitive sex information when they register.

Information of 3.9 million Adult FriendFinder members has been leaked, including those who have told the site to delete their accounts.

Shaun Harper is among those whose details have been released. “The site looked OK, but when I got down to it I realized it wasn’t really for me, I was looking for something longer term. But by then, I had already given my information. You could not access the site without providing information.

“I deleted my account, so I thought the information was gone. These sites are meant to be secure.

Spam emails

Hours after the data breach, forum hackers said they intended to hit victims with spam emails, and Mr. Harper has been targeted with infected emails since his information was released to the public. .

Online crime experts believe that after the initial spam campaign, hackers will now start looking for potential blackmail targets in the data. The spreadsheets contain addresses linked to dozens of members of the government and armed forces, including members of the British Army.

“When you have names, dates of birth, zip codes, it offers the possibility of targeting specific people, whether they are in government or in the health sector, for example, so that you can profile that person. and send more targeted blackmail-type emails, ”says Charlie McMurdie, cybercrime specialist for PwC and former head of the metropolitan policethe electronic crime unit of.

The front page of California-based Adult FriendFinder features photos of dozens of attractive young women. Yet the hacked data, contained in 15 spreadsheets, reveals how few women seem to be using Adult FriendFinder.

Of the 26,939 users with an email address in the UK, for example, only 1,596 identified as female: a ratio of one woman to 16 men.

FriendFinder Networks Inc, owner of Adult FriendFinder, told Channel 4 News:

“FriendFinder Networks Inc… fully understands and appreciates the seriousness of the problem.

“We have already started working closely with law enforcement and launched a full investigation with the help of a leading third-party forensic expert.

“We are committed to taking the appropriate measures necessary to protect our customers if they are affected.”

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Can you become an adult without being a pseudo?

Recently my friend A walked out of a cafe in Bangalore half stunned and half laughing. The views he had seen! First, an embarrassed waiter delivered coffee to a young woman sitting alone, explaining that the young man sitting next to it had paid for it. “He was behaving like he was a guy in a bar in a movie,” A exclaimed. The woman considered the offer and then smiled at the rosy, daring man. He joined her at the table. In the first of a series of “is this an advertisement for something,” they found a board game from the cafe’s collection and played for a while. Then she left. The man has moved into what’s called the bar, a counter where you pretend it’s your “local” (or worse, your dive) and where you pretend you can work on your laptop while while sitting next to a Mac with strangers. He then struck up a conversation with his neighbor, a girl with a Mac and a notebook. He started by discussing his pen (flashback to the shock I experienced on my first day in Delhi when I was 18 when I heard Girl 1 tell Girl 2 at the bus stop, “Mera pen pakadna, main nahin hoon toh Rajeevko de dena (Hold my pen, give it to Rajeev if I’m not there)“I am still haunted by this pen and the relationship I imagine between the girl and Rajeev.

But back to the young man. The bar girl took out her Moleskine notebook. And he took out his Moleskine notebook. Then they discussed their Moleskines. Then they left together. At this point, A felt like he needed a stretcher, shocked as he was by the avalanche of hipster clichés.

A recognizes that this avalanche could only hit him in an independent cafe, independent being the code of international homogeneity of decor with sans-serif logos and industrial-style interiors and individual cafes. In the now ubiquitous Café Coffee Day (CCD) or Barista or even Costa, less common, Mr. Audacity wouldn’t hang around making cinematic openings, and neither would Ms. Moleskine. These cafes are now desi, a bit like a family friend in front of whom you wouldn’t spread your new and inexplicable Mid-Atlantic accent. But as the friend of the family whose racy history you know nothing about, CCD and the other retail coffee chains played a similar role in remodeling another generation. In the late 1990s, I went with my friend and my brother to what was to be the first of hundreds of CCDs. Right on Brigade Road in Bengaluru it was intimidating, with cool new customers we could see from the street through the then unknown glass facade.

This first CCD was an internet café, with computers lined up around the establishment and restaurant-style tables in the middle. When we walked in, no one was sitting at a computer and all kinds of forward thinking people were drinking coffee, five times the price of the drink in an average cafe. My friend looked around and expressed her unease by saying to my brother, “I bet you will marry someone who looks like THAT” that is, this is a girl with blue locks in her hair and wearing low waist jeans. cold coffee. A few years later my friend met a candidate for an arranged marriage in a CCD or a barista and was dismayed that the man had not offered to split the bill at all. By then, computers were long gone from CCDs and we had forgotten by the time we didn’t know what hit meant.

When I lived in South Delhi, I did not join in the mockery of women who wore boots in winter. I knew, and women who wore boots knew it, that tweeting “Boots Season!” would make sense if there was snow to walk through. But the boots were not about the state of the roads. It was a seasonal and fun ritual to participate in. It wasn’t much different from the Bali Yatra festival in Odisha, when paper boats are floated in commemoration of the sea power of ancient Kalinga. No slush, no real boats going from Odisha to Indonesia, so what?

But on one occasion, I admit that I felt pain when I heard two young acquaintances from Delhi spend an entire hour mournfully wishing to live abroad so that they could wear their new boots more. The two girls in boots were confusing, I realized, as they were well aware that they were not in Ugg country. Other people were happy to pretend they were in a place where knee to ankle height was a daily issue.

Where does the pretension end and where does the pretension begin? Your answer will determine how irritated you are with young people and their pseudonym. Your answer is only slightly influenced by your age. A, for example, is 27 years old. And when novelist Krishna Sobti remembered the pretense / pretense of her youth in her near memory,A Gujarat here, a Gujarat there, she was 92 years old. In a beautiful episode, she describes being a schoolgirl from Lahore who decides to organize a birthday party with 120 guests on the banks of the Ravi. She comes to the idea of ​​this fabulous afternoon another afternoon alone in an adult cafe. People are looking at her, clearly wondering if she’s expecting someone. But Sobti remembers that daring moment: “I walked in and ordered my tea. I focused intensely on each sip. For a while I forgot all about the tea and mathri in the canteen … And then, as I was sitting there, I had a sudden revelation. “It might have been easy to look back this afternoon and laugh at the pretensions of greatness but Sobti doesn’t she doesn’t. ”She recognizes the need for all of us to pretend until we do in the cafe of life.

Cheap Thrills is a bimonthly column about millennials, obsessions and secrets. Nisha Susan is the editor of The Ladies Finger webzine.


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Products to help treat blemishes in teens and adult acne

Pimples and acne are no fun no matter how old you are.

Adult acne is relatively common in women mainly due to hormonal changes, not to mention stress. In fact, over 780,000 MailOnline readers suffer from acne – so you’re not alone.

But luckily, whether you have blemishes or are suffering from an adult acne attack, now there are dozens of innovative treatments that will help you reduce your rashes.

Going forward, we’ve picked eight of the best acne treatments to help brighten your skin and prevent breakouts.

Formulated with a potent blend of pore-unclogging salicylic acid, moisturizing butylene glycol and soothing green tea extract, Paula’s Choice Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid Exfoliator is a must-have for skin prone to breakouts and breakouts. acne.

Suitable for all skin types, the leave-in exfoliator not only deep cleanses the pores to help remove acne, it also helps fade persistent acne scars while promoting a brighter texture, smoother and more even for a more clarified complexion. Sign us up.

Buy now on Amazon

These Instagram-friendly button patches from Starface are awesome, colorful, fun, and most importantly, effective. The star-shaped hydrocolloid patches absorb wound fluid (think oil and pus) and speed healing, much like a traditional blister bandage.

Best of all, these cute and soft pimple patches keep you from touching your face and making rashes worse. You’ll never look at a button the same way again!

Each Hydro-Star Pod Starter Kit includes 32 stickers (eight sheets each containing four stickers).

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Formulated with 60% soothing hemp seeds (cannabis sativa seeds) and antiseptic green oregano, this lightweight Kiehl’s oil is designed to calm stressed skin.

Kiehl’s Cannabis Sativa Seed Oil Concentrate will reduce skin spots, calm redness, and balance hydration, all without making a fussy complexion worse. Just two to three drops massaged into freshly cleansed skin will instantly soothe.

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Fear not, this moisturizer from award-winning skin care brand Murad is oil-free and will keep skin matte despite its SPF45.

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Formulated for use on sensitive acne prone skin, Cetaphil Oily Skin Cleanser is highly affordable and dermally approved. This ultra-gentle cleanser will preserve and maintain the delicate skin surface and remove excess sebum, dirt and other environmental impurities from the skin surface.

The classic cleanser is also fragrance-free so it won’t cause any rashes or reactions and can also be used on your body to help fight bacteria (i.e. back acne). And that 236ml bottle will last at least a few months.

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Glamglow’s Supermud Mask has gained a cult following and is also one of the brand’s bestsellers, known for its ability to cleanse pores and treat breakouts.

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This on-site treatment from Kate Somerville is our benchmark for banishing hard-to-beat whiteheads. It contains 10% sulfur (beware: it smells like rotten eggs) and exfoliating acids to fight blemishes, while zinc oxide absorbs excess sebum. This treatment is the perfect solution to get rid of pimples and rashes.

Apply a dab of the rose solution overnight to the affected area with the tip of a cotton swab and in the morning the redness and size of your blemish will be reduced.

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Vegan-friendly and cruelty-free, Medik8 Blemish Control Pads will help keep blackheads and whiteheads at bay.

Formulated with 2% salicylic acid (less alcohol drying out the skin) and soothing botanical extracts, these tampons from Medik8 leave skin clean, clear and never uncomfortable.

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Where are the children of Notorious BIG now? His two adult children are thriving

When Kobe Bryant has passed away on January 26 at the age of 41, we were reminded of other iconic figures whose lives were tragically cut short. One of those people is The great notorious

Not only was the rapper only 24 when he was killed in a 1997 car shootout, he also left behind a woman and two children. Despite the loss of their father at a young age, the hip-hop artist’s son and daughter drew inspiration from his famous career to find his way to success.

Where are the children of Notorious BIG now?

Grammy nominee’s firstborn, T’yanna Dream Wallace, was only 3 when her father was shot, but keeps his memory alive through his brand, Notoriouss Clothing. “The name Wallace is great, I’m not going to lie… I’m just trying to continue the legacy,” she said. Music TV exclusives in 2016.

Source: Instagram

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“That’s why I started my clothing line dedicated to him… I’m not into music, I don’t rap or whatever, so I was like, let me do something that I like to devote to him. “

In a conversation in 2018 with iHeartRadio, T’yanna – whose mother is Biggie’s ex-girlfriend Jan Jackson – shared that her passion for fashion started in high school. “Each part [of Notoriouss clothing] is designed by me, ”the 26-year-old revealed, adding that she usually marks the anniversary of her father’s death with a special edition item.

“I’m going to do a collaboration with another artist, and we’re going to do a T-shirt together that usually has a picture of my dad on it, something that has to do with him,” she explained. “I’m proud of him to have left this legacy for himself at such a young age. I feel like it’s really hard to do… almost always being a household name is really amazing.”

As for Biggie’s son, Christopher George Latore Wallace Jr. (aka CJ), the 23-year-old has become an artist like his father. But instead of rapping, he found success as an actor.

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notorious cj wallace tall

Source: Instagram

CJ’s first role was playing a younger version of his father in the 2009 biopic, Popular, and he recently appeared in the television adaptation of the slasher movie franchise Scream. The New Yorker is also an entrepreneur, having started a cannabis company called Think BIG in March 2019.

The company Instagram biography states that he “leads a social movement challenging humans to discover how herbal products can be used for curiosity, creativity, contemplation and healing.”

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The company also spawned a distinct lifestyle brand called Frank White (Biggie’s alter ego) consisting of clothing, accessories, health and wellness products, music and other forms of content, including memorabilia from the rapper.

“I never wanted to do anything with my father’s music, as you might expect,” CJ admitted to Forbes in an interview earlier this month. “I’ve always heard about cassettes, never-before-seen verses, never-before-seen sequences that I would like to work with to create something new, not just music.”

the great notorious

Source: Getty Images

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